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Author: Guede Mazaka
Rating: PG-13 for language. And possibly bestiality, depending on how you look at things.
Pairing: Sands/El, I suppose. Meta-fic.
Feedback: If you think this is really worth it.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Makes no pretensions at quality work.
Summary: I get my revenge for the hell the muses have put me through this week.
***
Scene: Well-lit room with very little furniture. One large window to let in a huge square of sunlight. Two muses on the floor and an author in the chair.
Me: It could be worse.
Sands-bunny: *tugs at long ears* How? How could it be worse? Tell me, exactly how could it be worse? *flips ears down, only to have them pop slightly upward* I'm a fucking rabbit!
El-kitty: *grunts and flops down in the sunshine*
Sands-bunny: *still ranting* And not only that, there's this goddamn-thing attached to my ass! *turns around to display sizable tuft of tail* Do I even want to know how this is working with my pants?
Me: Probably not.
El-kitty: *stretches and purrs, arching a white-shirted belly to the ceiling*
Sands-bunny: What could possibly be worse than this?
Me: You could have been a ground squirrel.
Sands-bunny: *eyeless glare: instead of a focused laser that systematically strips flesh from bone, a sort of diffuse heat emits from the scowl*
El-kitty: *brings the gauntleted wrist up to his face to stroke his cheek*
Me: At least your…fur…is black instead of white.
Sands-bunny: *ears sink into an angry droop*
Me: Look, it was kind of inevitable, given all the ones you've spawned. The bunnies bunnied you.
Sands-bunny: Ramen-sucking bitch. And Mr. Mexicunt of the Year probably had something to do with this, too. Didn't he.
El-kitty: *ears prick up as he rolls over in Sands' direction*
Sands-bunny: Always with the fucking issues, and the hang-ups, and the 'kill first, sex later' attitude. And that goddamn third-arm kink. Absolute prick.
El-kitty: *tail swishes silently through the air, and one eye cracks open*
Sands-bunny: *freezes with an expression of fear and incomprehension* What the…why am I all stiff…
El-kitty: *other eyelid lifts as he seamlessly twists into a crouch, tail lashing first right, then left*
Sands-bunny: *quivering* Wait. Did El morph too? What is he?
Me: *evil smile*
Sands-bunny: Oh, shit…
Action: Pounce. Fur and hair and limbs go flying.
Scene: Sands-bunny is deathly still, sprawled on one side and pinned like that to the floor by a hand on the dip of his waist and one on his wrists. El-kitty languidly lifts head from Sands-bunny's neck, tongue briefly darting out to swipe over his lips. An already-bruising bite, stark against the pale skin, is revealed.
Sands-bunny: *tail begins to twitch minutely*
El-kitty: *attention is caught by moving black blob, so he cocks his head, then slides his hand down to bat at the ball of fluff*
Sands-bunny: …bet this doesn't happen in Alaska…
El-kitty: Neither does this. *administers thorough mauling*
Me: Dammit, where's the webcam?
***