Tangible Schizophrenia



Author: Guede Mazaka
Rating: R
Pairing: Tristan/Gawain
Disclaimer: Versions from the movie.
Summary: Up against a tree. No time for more.


They’re frightening the animals. Their chainmail clatters, their leather creaks and rasps, their panting sounds as loud as thunder in Tristan’s ears. Later when they’re doing what they said they would and are hunting dinner, he’ll have to lead them wide to find anything. Later, when they have duties. Later, when the cold bite of the air nips them apart and there is only the look of Gawain’s eyes, glimpsed through the dancing flames, to warm Tristan’s bed.

Now he clutches at Gawain’s shoulder and pulls him nearer, doing what he can. They have no time to rid themselves of clothing and so they grind against each other, scrabble and clutch at each other’s pricks in a frenzy to steal the moment before someone else does. There’s heat beneath Gawain’s clothes but Tristan can sense no more than the promise of it, and so his world narrows to the hand on his prick, the scrape of Gawain’s beard against his cheek, the few places where there can be skin on skin. He might almost be capable of sobbing over how little it is, if he had the time. If he had the space, and the wealth to be able to afford it.

But he does not, and so he rushes and presses close and takes the starvation that’s offered him. It’s still more than death.