Tangible Schizophrenia


Backside Attack

Author: Guede Mazaka
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Here, Jack/James/Elizabeth. Implied Jack/James/Will/Elizabeth/Anamaria.
Feedback: Fave lines, constructive crit.—anything you want, at any length.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Notes: Modern-day AU. Don’t giggle at the title; it’s actual terminology from organic chemistry (nucleophilic substitutions, whoop-de-do).
Summary: Slightly less than typical wake-up call.


Admittedly, Jack was used to waking up in odd situations. While this wasn’t so much startling—he took a moment to stop his rationality from squirming away—as unexpected, it still was something of a twinge to his nerves.

The fingers stabbed even deeper, and the twinge turned into a full-blown shudder. While his hips were busy shoving himself down, Jack scrabbled at the cocoon of sheets that had somehow gotten wound around his head. “Jaime, not that I don’ ‘preciate th’good mornin’, but—”

“Good G—” And James’ voice flicked into guttural nonsense as the entire bed suddenly heaved a thrashing weight on top of Jack. Given that Jack was currently feeling as if he were being puppeted to twitching, boneless heat, he almost didn’t notice that the number of hands flailing at him was two. “Oh, sor--Christ.”

Jack’s knee went wide in an attempt to avoid being bent sideways, and subsequently, he somehow ended up inviting James’ rapidly stiffening cock to rub against his own, as if it needed any encouragement. Elbows and something vaguely head-shaped began to bang into Jack, so for the moment he left the rumpled sheets covering his face alone and tried to grope for James, hoping to steady him. “Ow—watch th’kickin’, Jaime. Look, shift th’other—damn it, Will, stop makin’ him hit me. Part of this is coordination, y’idiot, an’ I can’ do that while y’re…y’re…do that again.”

As the fingers inside of him obligingly rubbed waves of brain-melting sizzle through his body, a high and decidedly not masculine giggle floated over the sounds of James’ heartfelt moaning. Not Will, then. Least, not if Turner still had his literal balls, and Jack had checked on that…not that long ago.

“If you say Anamaria next, I’ll stop,” Elizabeth threatened, purring as she made James jerk and slump. When the other man slid half-off Jack, he took some of the sheets with him so Jack could finally see. Which was basically a sweaty, flexing back and one very smug girl sitting pretty at the end of the tangle that was Jack’s and James’ legs. “You know, this is really fun. I can’t understand why I don’t do it more often.”

“Because it might prove fatal to us?” James muttered, trying to prop himself up on his elbows. Jack did try to help, but Elizabeth had obviously been studying up and so it was hard to keep his hands from petting down James’ chest. And sides, and ass, and—well, the man made a good double handful, no matter where Jack grabbed. “Sparrow, you’re not helping very much.”

Clever little twist that teased Jack’s balls into tightening and stuck his breath in his throat. That one was his trick, all right, and he really should be more careful about whom he let watch while he was employing it. “Jaime, just relax for a moment.”

“Because?” James raised an eyebrow while panting and grinding his cock into Jack’s stomach. It was truly uncanny how the man managed to be both sardonic and helplessly wanton.

Wanton. Jack knew his brain was starting to short out when it started to bring up words such as that. With a last sigh, he worked his hands into James’ hair, yanked the other man down, and kissed his way through the exploding blackness. His arm reflexively went up to keep a whimpering, trembling James from crushing him as the other man came all over his thigh and stomach, then curled around to cradle James to him.

“Well?” Elizabeth was rather flushed now, but still much too pleased with herself as she leaned over.

Not that many people bothered to remember, but James could and did move very fast when he wanted to. Before her squeak was done shooting from her mouth, Elizabeth was pinned between them.

“Come on, I’ve been up for hours—” Will stopped a foot inside the room, his assessment of the conditions plain to see on his face.

“Will! Get over here and get me out!” For a split second, Elizabeth struggled free. She was unfortunate enough to trip over Jack’s knee, and then it was easy to wrestle her back. “Wait, wait…you did enjoy that, remember?”

Rolling his eyes, Will sidled out of the room. “If anyone asks, I’m telling them I was making coffee in the kitchen and didn’t hear a thing.”

“Your discretion is greatly appreciated,” James called back, his hands already slipping beneath Elizabeth’s shirt.

Jack slowly cracked his knuckles and watched as Elizabeth’s eyes grew wider with every sharp pop. He did a quick peek at James to sync attacks, and then the two of them set on her like a pair of greyhounds with a lame rabbit. “Lizzie, while I’m not averse to a bit of surprise, I’m thinking y’need a lesson in manners. Now, hold still. Promise on th’Pearl, this won’ hurt. Permanently, anyhow.”