HEE HEE HEE

This whole thing started because of the Up Against a Wall bit with the music being "John Blaze Hot". I was convinced that John Blaze was a porn star, and called the boyfriend to find out. This resulted.

Emmy: John Blaze is not a porn star.
Emmy: i'm cranky now.
Emmy: I wanted JC to be singing about male porn stars.
Livia: Maybe he did but they made him change it.
Emmy: L thought I was insane that I called him at 11:15 to inquire about male porn stars, in reference to an NSYNC song.
Livia: Heh! You know what would be cool. If there was like *nysnc porn. Like the boys find this tape and it's called, whatever, some takeoff on a song... and there's all these lookalikes of them doin' it.
Emmy: I would pay MONEY for that!
Livia: And their names are like "Jeff" and "JD" and "Carl" and stuff.
Livia: And they all watch it in a big group for fun and then it's all hot and stuff.
wax_jism: and there's one curly and one little short one and one southern one and one italian and one ... uh, weirdo.
Livia: 'Cause these are young hot guys not gross guy porn stars like in straight porn.
Livia: So what would Porn!Lance's name be?
Livia: Lane.
Emmy: Chance.
Livia: And Porn!JC would be... JT.
Jodi: Something to do with Lansten, Emmy.
Livia: Porn!Joey would be... hmmm
Emmy: Lance/Chance
Jodi: Something totally slutty
Livia: What sounds like Joey?
Livia: Jerry? not sexy.
Livia: Johnny?
Emmy: Jeremy
Livia: Or no, cause Porn!Justin could be Jonathan.
Emmy: in homage to the Ron jeremy
Livia: Yeah, Jeremy is better!!
Jodi: totally better
Livia: Or Dustin for Justin?
Emmy: dustin!
Emmy: i don't think I could keep a straight face at Dustin.
Livia: And maybe one of them's already gay-- Chris or someone-- and he's like "There's no way you can do THAT without prepping first" or "That's harder than it looks."
Livia: And they're all like "Gross! Shut UP!"
Emmy: what would it be called?
Emmy: gotta be a takeoff on an NSYNC song name.
Livia: and maybe on the porn tape there's like a Space cowboy segment called "Sex Cowboy" and it's weird sci-fi with chaps and spurs
wax_jism: what?
Emmy: oooh.
Emmy: SEX COWBOY!
Livia: and "Digital Getdown" and they all make fun of JC 'cause they don't even have to change the name for that one.
Jodi: LOL
Livia: "Just Got Paid" could be "Just Got Laid" with, like, prostitute kink.
Emmy: it could be called N the Ass or something.
Livia: "I'll Be Good For you" 'nuff said.
Livia: The Justin-lookalike is all jailbaity and the JC one is anorexic and pretty-- oh! oh!!
Livia: The JC in the porn video has the chin stripe
Livia: and THAT gives JC the idea to grow his!!!
Livia: And when he does they all look at him and sort of scoot away, but he's in one of his innocent little princess phases and no one wants to say "Dude, wha the hell."
Livia: And they kind of have sound-alike *nsync music in the backgrond, all synthesizery.
Livia: Dammit. Forget this story. Let's hire some actors and make this thing!
Emmy: oooh.
Emmy: and Lance is all pissy.
Emmy: "They're using our music and not paying us royalties!"
Emmy: and everyone just looks at him like, dude.
Livia: 'Cause pornlance is the biggest slut.
Livia: oh, no, that's what he should say, that's better. "Um, dude, they have you going down on Joey and JC at once, and you're pissed about the MUSIC?"
Livia: And Lance is all "ummm... I have to go."
livia: "away."
Emmy: and he runs away and whacks off in the bathroom.
Emmy: Joey's just grabbing at his dick.
Livia: Yeah, like they ALL do.
Livia: Oh, here we go. Chris watches it a bunch because he thinks it's funny, until finally someone throws it out the window.
Livia: And then Chris finds it again and he's like "How did this get back in here?"
Livia: But it's someone else's copy. *grins*
Emmy: what is joey doing?
Livia: real joey or porn joey?
Emmy: real joey!
Livia: Real Joey has probably had a few drinks and he's just laughing hysterically.
Livia: Because he gets to top everyone.
Livia: He calls everyone "my bitches."
wax_jism: he's the manly man italian
wax_jism: with an exaggerated brooklyn accent
Jodi: giggle. Scary how I can picture all of this
Livia: "How are you this morning, my bitches?" "Fuck you, Fatone."
Livia: "Wow, my bitches are cranky this morning."
Livia: (someone throws toast at him)
Livia: "Maybe my bitches need some Joey loving."
Livia: And someone gets fed up with it (JC or Lance?) and they shove him back in his bunk and they're like "Who's the bitch now, Fatone!"
Livia: And Joey's a great cocksucker.
Livia: Or maybe it takes place in a hotel room. A hotel room's better.
Jodi: I think Lance should shove him down
Livia: And Porn!JC is the sub with the collar... hm. no. Porn!Lance is the sub because he's pretty and blonde and Porn!JC is the top with the skinny ass in the leather pants.
Emmy: Jo, she's starting the Sub!JC thing again.
Emmy: and JC is like "I wouldn't mind doing that. The other way."
Jodi: I *like* Sub!JC
Emmy: can Chris be the Dom?
Emmy: cause those evil eyes!
Livia: JC's EYES. They would look so GOOD. Just hazed out, floating, "I'll do whatever you want..."
Livia: Chris can totally be the dom.
Jodi: I actually like Dom!Lance Sub!JC
Livia: Actually, that would be better, because JC knows Chris's gay already so he kinda would know what he's doing.
Livia: Like, "so, Chris, did you ever do stuff like that?" "Well, I never did THAT..."
Emmy: i think they should have the Sub!JC/Dom!Chris scene in the porn, and then have Lance being like, Dude, Chris couldn't top JC!
Emmy: and JC just looks at Lance, with those hazy eyes, and goes, what you think you can top me?
Emmy this should be immortalized SOMEWHERE.




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