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SOCCERSLASH (FOOTBALLER FIC)
Yes, I know, football, but I'm American and I live in the middle of American football country, so I've got to use 'soccer' to keep things straight for me. Anyway, it was the 2006 World Cup and I happened to start reading some sports-blogs online. Then I watched a few games. And then my football-fanatic friends shamelessly pointed out even more man-porn and friendly on-the-pitch groping, and that was that. Mmmm...
Disclaimer: The following contains Real Person Slash (RPS) and is completely fictional. Untrue. Made-up. Making no claims to the truth of the matter whatsoever.
English League:
Ash Wednesday - Andriy Shevchenko/José Mourinho. R.
Auld Lang Syne - Thierry Henry/Robert Pirès. PG-13.
Checkout - Robin van Persie/Michael Ballack. NC-17.
The Footballer's Guide to the Apocalypse - Implied Philippe Senderos/Jens Lehmann. PG-13.
The German Connection - Lehmann/Senderos, Ballack/various Arsenal players. PG-13.
How to Score the Arsenal Way - Senderos/Lehmann, Senderos/Lehmann/Drogba, other Arsenal pairings. R. Sequel to The German Connection.
Just Dinner - Cesc Fàbregas/David Silva. PG-13.
Les Ombres - Thierry Henry/Robert Pirès, Henry/David Trézéguet. PG.
Midnight Screening - Thierry Henry/Jens Lehmann. R.
Proper Usage of a Handle - Cesc Fàbregas/Philippe Senderos, Jens Lehmann/Senderos, Lehmann/Freddie Ljungberg. R.
Riding the Bus - Fàbregas/Philippe Senderos. R.
Transference - Deco/José Mourinho. R.
Translation - Thierry Henry/Robert Pirès. R.
You Think You Know A Man - Ryan Giggs and Roy Keane. PG.
Bundesliga:
Arboreal - Thomas Müller/Philipp Lahm. PG-13.
Back - Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings gen. PG.
Better than Champagne - Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski/Philipp Lahm. NC-17.
Bumps in the Night - Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski. R.
Close-up - Timo Hildebrand/Philipp Lahm, Ballack/Frings, implied Bastian/Lukas/Christoph Metzelder. NC-17.
Copy-cat - The German national team of 2006. Gen humor. PG.
Drift - Schweinsteiger/Podolski. R.
Emergency Situation - Timo Hildebrand/Philipp Lahm, Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski. R.
Musical Rooms - Lahm/Hildebrand, Schweinsteiger/Podolski, Ballack/Frings. R.
La Liga:
Calling Out The Dead - Raúl/Fernando Morientes/David Villa/David Silva. Implied Guardiola/Figo. NC-17.
Climbing the Ladder - Mesut Özil and Sami Khedira gen. PG.
Crumbs - Real Madrid and Barcelona gen. PG.
Cyrano de Figo - Pep Guardiola/Raúl(/Figo/Morientes). R.
El Capitán Villa - Villa/Raúl, Iker Casillas/Victor Valdés. AU. NC-17.
Five Compromises Josep Guardiola Never Made - Guardiola/Michael Laudrup, Guardiola/Figo, Guardiola/Raúl. R.
Fox on a Hot Tin Roof - David Silva/David Villa. R.
From Your Doors of Gold and Fame - Xavi Hernández and Victor Valdés. Gen. G.
Inheritance - Pep Guardiola/Michael Laudrup, Laudrup/Guardiola/Luís Figo, Figo/Guardiola, Figo/Raúl, Raúl/Fernando Morientes, Raúl/Villa. R.
Mano a Mano - Deco/Cristiano Ronaldo/Mourinho. AU. Sequel to Que Sera Sera. NC-17.
Pasture - Ruud van Nistelrooy/David Beckham, implied Ruud/David/Victoria Beckham. PG-13.
The Pichichi Project - Iker Casillas/Victor Valdés. Sequel to Calling Out the Dead.
The Portuguese Man's Guide to Dating - Guardiola/Mourinho, Guardiola/Luís Figo, Guardiola/Raúl, Mourinho/Vitor Baía. Implied Morientes/Raúl. NC-17.
Que Sera Sera - Deco/Cristiano Ronaldo/Mourinho. AU. NC-17.
Sunstroke - David Silva/Raúl/Iker Casillas, David Silva/David Villa. R.
The Heretic - David Villa/Raúl, Villa/Morientes, Morientes/Raúl. NC-17.
Ties - Guardiola/Figo. Bondage. NC-17.
We Faithless Few - Thierry Henry/Robert Pirès. PG-13.
Serie A:
A Day - Zlatan Ibrahimović/Helena Seger, Alessandro Nesta/Paolo Maldini. Milancats AU. PG.
Five Ways Zlatan Ibrahimović Knew Paolo Maldini - Zlatan/Maldini, Maldini/Nesta. NC-17.
Luís Figo: Agony Uncle - David Silva/David Villa, Cristiano Ronaldo/David Bentley. Implied Maldini/Nesta/Zlatan, Hérnan Crespo/Massimo Ambrosini. PG-13.
Ridden - Maldini/Zlatan. Implied Maldini/Nesta, Nesta/Zlatan. NC-17.
Shapes on the Wall - Maldini/Zlatan. Time-travel. NC-17.
That Holiday Spirit - Zlatan/Maldini/Nesta. Implied Andrea Pirlo/Gennaro Gattuso, Zlatan/other AC Milan Italians. NC-17. Bondage, some d/s.
The Tyranny of Cats - Nesta/Maldini, Zlatan/Helena Seger. PG-13.
Other:
Age and Grace - Zlatan/Henrik Larsson. R.
Cupcake Champions - Arsenal, Barcelona, Bayern, Inter Milan and Real Madrid gen. PG-13.
A Love Story - José Mourinho/Deco. R.
Nolo Contendere - Van Persie, Van der Vaart and Sneijder gen. PG-13.
The Safari Approach to Conflict Resolution - Robin van Persie/Wesley Sneijder. R.
The Swan and the Gladiator - Roberto Donadoni/Marco van Basten. PG-13.
Les Vieux Salauds - Roberto Donadoni/Raymond Domenech, Donadoni/Marco van Basten. PG-13.
Vecchi Scorbutici - Roberto Donadoni/Marco van Basten. PG-13.
The Book of the Green Field - Lots of pairings. Historical AU. NC-17.
Drabbles - Misc. pairings and ratings.
Hit - Lots of pairings. Record label AU. NC-17.
Last Man Standing - Zlatan Ibrahimović/Paolo Maldini, Zlatan/Alessandro Nesta, Zlatan/Gianluigi Buffon, Zlatan/Mauro Camoranesi, Zlatan/Alberto Gilardino. AU. NC-17.
Legends - Various pairings. AU. NC-17.
Line-Up - Various pairings. AU. NC-17.
The Justice of Gianluigi - Buffon/Gilardino, Buffon/Alena Šeredová, Zlatan/Maldini/Nesta. Sequel to The Romance of Zlatan. AU. NC-17.
The Long Siesta - David Villa/Fernando Morientes, Villa/David Silva, Morientes/Raúl. AU. NC-17.
The Marriage of Heaven and Hell - Zlatan Ibrahimović/Paolo Maldini, Maldini/Alessandro Nesta, Gianluigi Buffon/Alberto Gilardino, Luís Figo/various Spanish footballers. AU. NC-17.
Modern Hoodoo - Michael Ballack/Jensen Ackles, Jens Lehmann/Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski. Crossover with Supernatural RPS. NC-17.
Office Romance - Raúl/David Villa, Morientes/Pablo Hernández. AU. NC-17
The Romance of Zlatan - Zlatan/Maldini/Nesta. AU. NC-17.
Shadowlands - Various pairings. AU. NC-17.
The Summer Movie Marathon - Figo/Guardiola. AU. NC-17.
Triptych - Guardiola/Raúl, Raúl/Morientes, Guardiola/Figo, Raúl/David Villa, Figo/Mutu. AU. NC-17.